Reflections

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Dear Douchbag oldest brother,

I’m aware that you’re thirty-one years old and our parents had to kick you out of our house in order for you to get your own apartment and start your own life. I’m also aware that you make $100,000 a year and that for some reason, you feel like you need to drop that figure as much as you can so that we all know. I also know that even though I’m doing well, you seem to think that I can’t become a doctor, and that everyone else with that aspiration in our family is fucking screwed just because you turned your back on being a doctor originally and decided to go into finance. I also know that even though you lie to our parents every second of your life, you know that you’re dating a horrible woman who is disgusting on the inside and outside.

But here’s a little tip: when your younger sister gets engaged, the first thing that you do is jump up and down for joy and say how happy you are. You DON’T ask how much he spent on the ring, or what the specs are. And when they’re about to come home to share the news, you don’t become jealous all of a sudden, leave the house, and drive to another state to become depressed about your life later. Stop making other people’s important life events about you.

sometimes mala hates her eldest brother because he's a tool and an attention hoe-bag and likes to make other people feel like shit about themselves

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